Springingtiger on Autisable

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

The Man in the Glass Box 2

I find two kinds of separation from the events in my life, one bad and one good. The bad is seriously bad it’s when I can see my body and mind behaving in a way I wish they wouldn’t and I am powerless to stop them as in meltdown. Most times I can regain control – usually by doing violence to myself which explains the missing knuckles – but sometimes I just can’t and have to let events take their course.

The inability to regain control can be positive because it is one of the ways into the good kind of separation. The good separation comes when instead of indulging in frustration I relinquish control and then there is a place of perfect stillness. The world continues to turn, events play themselves out, my body does what it will and I look on calmly untouched by emotion or concern for the opinions of society. It is as if I am watching evolution unfolding in slow motion. Sometimes I can live in the good separation for weeks on end while functioning perfectly effectively. Eventually I get hooked into placing interpretations on events and the stillness goes but it’s good while it lasts.

Sunday, 25 July 2010

The Man in the Glass Box 1

I am an optimist, always an optimist, I never experience pessimism but sometimes I experience despair. When I say despair I mean a hollowness, a terrible emptiness, a sense that everything is pointless. I am not sure how I slip into the state but I know what triggered it the other day.

I was writing my blog when my inability to understand how people feel hit me like a steam hammer. Sometimes I feel like that Marcel Marceau character, the man in the glass box. It feels as if there is a glass wall between me and the rest of the world and I have no way of breaking through it. All the processing problems I have are just inconvenient but the inability to connect hurts.

From inside my glass box I have no way of knowing if there is any point in what I am doing or if it makes any difference so in my despair I considered giving up the blog. I have been moved by the number of people who have told me they appreciate the blog. I am particularly grateful to those who have explained why I should continue. It is a failing of mine that I cannot project the consequences of what I do and I am particularly incapable of understanding the impact of my actions on other people’s opinions so thank you to everyone who gave me feedback.

Thursday, 22 July 2010

Mature Autism - Reflections on Jeff's Life

When I got my Asperger diagnosis I started searching the web for information as I knew virtually nothing about autism. One of the blogs I discovered was Jeff’s Life written by Jeff Stimpson about his son Alex. I quickly got hooked on the amusing tales he had to tell about his son and looked forward to the lift they always gave me. Sadly those days seem to be over with the onset of puberty life seems to be getting more difficult and the laughter is less frequent.

When I was laughing at the stories of the child Alex it never occurred to me that behind them lay pain. The more I read now the more I realise that I must have caused my Mother considerable worry although nowhere near as much as Alex causes his parents. Actually I don’t think “causes” is quite accurate as there is no intention to cause worry.

I am aware that as an autistic child grows into adulthood they can cause their parents concern having read Jeff Stimpson and Amalia Starr amongst others. I hoped to be able to make some salient comment on their concerns. I realise I have no comment to make, I have absolutely no idea how they feel. I cannot imagine how it feels to worry about what will happen to one’s child after one’s death. No matter how hard I try I cannot understand how these parents feel. I have at least realised that parents are on an emotional roller-coaster (their emotional state fluctuates greatly) but I can’t connect with it. When my daughter was self-harming my biggest concern was whether I was a bad parent it’s only really now I grasp that a more normal reaction would have been to worry about how she was feeling.

I parented differently from Jeff, I have no idea what he’s going through, I want so much to be able to say something – anything – that will make a difference and I can’t. During my assessment I was asked if,when my granddaughter was born I felt happy for my daughter and I replied that no one can feel for another, my wife commented that the question was probably meaningless to me. I have corresponded with Jeff, I have read his blogs, I know him to be a truly good man. I am glad that here are so many parents on the web who can support and understand each other. I am sure that blogs like Jeff’s Life are a big part of the support that parents can provide each other. I feel so useless, I am grateful my daughter was not autistic I am not cut out to be a hero all I seem to be able to do is talk about myself which I suppose is selfish, perhaps the time has come to cease my blog.

Monday, 05 July 2010

U.S.Autistic President

When someone starts following my tweets on Twitter I like to check them out in case I want to follow them back. When Autistic Child (@autistichildren) came to my notice I checked out his bio which includes the line,“my dad wants me to become the US president someday, now he just wants me to be normal”. It hit me hard as it did my wife when I read it to her.

I don’t know how it feels to bring up an autistic child but logically I suppose it must cause a parent a degree of emotional turmoil. I am reasonably certain that rather than Autistic Child’s dad just wanting him to be normal what he wants more than anything is for him to be happy. An Autistic child must challenge his parents expectations which are those of normal society. I suppose that for some parents it must be frustrating to have a child who cannot satisfy his parents aspirations. That child may never be President or a major league footballer but they will always be his or herself.

But hold on how many people get to be President? 99.9 to x power will never be president and most of them are “normal” so perhaps it’s not such a big deal. Anyway when I was a child there was no way on Earth the USA was ever going to have a black president and now they have. Somewhere in the last half century the consciousness of America shifted big time and if it shifted once it can shift again. When society learns to adapt so that people with autism can fulfil their potential and people learn to appreciate that potential there may be an Autistic President. I think we are due a woman in the Oval Office first – and I don’t mean to clean it! By the time Autistic Child reaches Obama’s age the USA may be ready for an autistic president.

The first US President with Autism will probably come from the Asperger section of the Spectrum and be verbal but if we can accept Stephen Hawking speaking to us via machine why not a president? A lack of verbal communication is a handicap – no getting round that fact – but an inability to speak, tics, and behaviour out of the normal does not mean a person does not have the intellectual capacity to run the country just as being elected President does not necessarily mean they do.

Already some Autistic people have achieved a degree of prominence in various fields largely in Science, Brad Cohen is a successful teacher and he has Tourette’s Syndrome, Temple Grandin leads the field in the design of cattle handling facilities. These people are the tip of the iceberg as more people with autism come to prominence and as society becomes willing to accept them as they are then there is a real possibility of them participating at the very highest levels.

To the dad of Autistic Child I say this, “Don’t give up your dreams just yet!”

Saturday, 03 July 2010

Mature Autism – Evolution & Autism

I have of late blogged a couple of times about my belief that Autism is a result of the process of human evolution, today I shall explain myself. I must point out that this is not a scientific piece although I have included some links and charts to illustrate my thinking. People make much of statistics but it must be remembered that correlation does not necessarily indicate a causal relationship – Fact 100% of heroin users drank milk as children “Oh my Gosh, we must ban milk!” Some children display autistic symptoms post vaccination the majority don’t, does that mean there is no causal link between vaccines and autism? Not necessarily but it does mean that if there is a link – and it’s yet to be established – it occurs in a minority of cases. Still figures can be fun and I believe they support my claim that Autism is caused by evolution. I have shamelessly lifted charts from other sources hopefully they are all attributed.

I think most people agree that there is an apparent increase in numbers of people diagnosed with autism although whether this represents an actual increase in the number of people with autism is sometimes disputed. There are some – particularly in the Asperger’s community – who seem determined to retrospectively diagnose all the great men of history as autistic but however long autism had been with us I think we must accept it appears to be on the increase. The figure below shows the rise in cases of autism in the USA 1992 to 2008.

rise in cases of autism in the USA 1992 to 2008

Over the same period we see an increase in Internet usage the chart below is for adults in the USA but it is indicative of a trend throughout developed countries.

USA Adults Internet use

This graph shows the rise of Internet use among U.S. adults over time.
(Credit: Pew Research Center)

And this graph compares internet usage globally. In the developed world where numbers of autism diagnoses are increasing more rapidly so is internet usage.

internet useage globally

With the increase in internet usage there is also an even more rapid increase in the use of social media. All of this began in the late Nineteenth Century with Marconi’s invention of the electric telegraph and Bell’s telephone. It was only in the second half of the Twentieth Century that telephone ownership became really widespread. The development of mobile (cell) phone has been even more rapid over a shorter time. More important than the numerical increase in useage of electronic communication and computers is the increased dependence of society on computer technology.

Percentage of households with consumer durables: Great Britain, 1972 to 2002

Social Network & Twitter Updates

Commerce and the administration of society used to depend on human interaction and face to face negotiation. Political depended very much on how someone presented themselves socially. Now most commerce can and is increasingly being conducted electronically. Meetings are being replaced by conference calls, email, instant messaging and teleconferencing. Emails are the key means of communication between and within businesses and government. As the biggest rise in the use of social media is among young people just as more and more young people are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders, however the advances of which they are taking advantage were developed by an earlier generations who are increasingly being diagnosed with ASDs. I have already commented on retrospective diagnosis by the Asperger’s community, where people are living it is justifiable to seek to establish whether they have ASDs.

Young People Flock (ha ha) to Twitter
"Young people flock to Twitter: . Internet users age 18-44 report rapid uptake of Twitter over the last nine months, whereas internet users ages 45 and older report slower adoption rates. For example, 37% of internet users age 18-24 use Twitter or another service, up from 19% in December 2008." (Pew Internet)
Why are people evolving autistically? Because it is appropriate to the society we are building. We no longer need to physically socialise as most of our interactions can take place over the internet, in fact there is very little need to congregate people in workplaces – most of us could work from home, some of us may prefer to. If we need to see other people we have the television, a good day is one spent on the computer with BBC Radio 4 for company.

The person with an ASD is better suited to the new work environment. He tends to be of a practical disposition – where it counts if not domestically. He gets on with the task he has set himself, frequently ignoring all distractions like eating until he reaches a point where it is appropriate to break, whereas old style humans construct their work around their breaks. He doesn’t waste time in idle chit chat but just gets on with the job. He is happy to work alone and has little need of social interaction. Although he may like to have other people around they are for stimulation like posters rather than for interaction. The person with an ASD is not concerned with his appearance but with comfort and so is well suited to an environment where he can work in his dressing gown or shorts and vest. Whereas humans tend to be guided largely by their emotions and fantasies we tend to be more calculating we have to construct the social world by logic not by feeling and so the person with an ASD is well suited to an environment where decisions are made on the basis of data rather than hunches.

I admit much of this is generalisation no two people with an ASD are exactly alike. I also apologise for the exclusive use of the masculine pronoun but I cannot be bothered to rewrite them all – if you are one of those females who have an ASD no offense is intended. This is not intended to be a scientific piece just an explanation of my personal thoughts on the subject. Finally I am including a few links for your entertainment.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_autism

http://ticketsdotcom.blogspot.com/2009/09/mobile-trends-americans-cell-phone.html

http://www.pewinternet.org/Reports/2009/14–Teens-and-Mobile-Phones-Data-Memo/1-Data-Memo/2–Who-has-a-mobile-phone.aspx?r=1

http://www.pewinternet.org/Reports/2009/17-Twitter-and-Status-Updating-Fall-2009.aspx?r=1

http://archive.cabinetoffice.gov.uk/e-envoy/e-statmap-individual/$file/use_internet_uptake.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Internet_usage

http://www.tvhistory.tv/facts-stats.htm